I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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