there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dignity is for republicans.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
