I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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