Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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