I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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