But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
