i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
