so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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