Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
