she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
