I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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