Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
