Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
