Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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