69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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