So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
