you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
