The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just cut my nipple shaving
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
