Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
