then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
