If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
