You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
