I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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