I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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