it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize