He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
