I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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