Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
