Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
