the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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