Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
