Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize