We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
