The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
