I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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