either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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