your room smells of hookers.
And success
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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