____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
