ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
