i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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