I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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