She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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