i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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