i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize