So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
