U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
