I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
