Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Someone shit on the floor
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
