How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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