Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
