If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
