I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
