from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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