We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize