It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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