wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
