dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
