We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
