ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
