some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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